Once, in elementary school, we tried to pass off a blank sheet of paper as a drawing of a polar bear in a snowstorm. Our classmates thought it was hilarious! They’d never heard that one before. That’s one advantage of making jokes in front of elementary schoolers. (Another one is that you can always rely on the word “butt” for big laughs. We kind of miss those days.)

Miss Kujda was not so impressed. And we loved Miss Kujda. We lived for her approval. If we had the art chops, and a time machine, we’d do a drawing just like the handsome one that adorns today’s shirt, full of sweetness, style and sensitivity, and take it back to second grade, and offer it to her, saying “this is what we meant.” Check plus plus.

This shirt was designed by: OpenDesign. Did you watch this Derby, by the way? OpenDesign revised and resubmitted this shirt. Conventional wisdom says that squanders votes! But, like some kind of latter-day Ayn Rand character, OpenDesign is more interested in perfecting his/her shirt designs than in collecting accolades from a fickle public. And the resubmission won a weekend slot anyway. In your face, conventional wisdom!

Wear this shirt: up in the northern latitudes, and maybe you’ll see the Aurora Borealis!

Don’t wear this shirt: south of the equator. Their northern lights are in the south! Their toilets flush the wrong way ‘round, too. It’s like Bizarro world down there.

This shirt tells the world: “Cute though I may be, don’t get too close. I will not hesitate to peel your skull open and feast on your soft brain, washing it down with a refreshing Coca-Cola.”

We call this color: Cold Navy

Back to top