One Line One Horn

by Truffleshuffle

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

Royal Blue
New
Limit 15 per customer
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Choose Your Own Theology

3rd place in Derby #266: Single Line, Guest Editor Artulo's Pick!

I'm just telling you it's what I'd prefer to believe.

"But it's nonsensical!"

"Is it? Is it any more nonsensical to believe that there's a giant, ambivalent unicorn in the sky who may or may not have created us but definitely does not interfere in our affairs or really even acknowledge our existence?"

"YES!"

"Why?"

"Because no one believes that!"

"I do."

"But it makes no sense! Where does your morality come from?"

"The same place it always has. Myself. I do good things because it feels right, and I want people to treat me nicely in return."

"But how will the evil be punished if your sky unicorn is so ambivalent?!"

"The same way they are now: by the laws we enact and the police and judges that serve and protect us. The sky unicorn doesn't really enter into any of that stuff."

"But you have no guarantee of eternal reward for a life well-lived! You have no guarantee that those who transgress shall be punished for eternity!"

"Yeah, but…neither do you. You just believe that's what happens. The same as me just believing in an ambivalent sky unicorn."

"I- Well- You-"

"Besides, have you really sat and thought about ETERNITY? I don't know if there's anything I would want to go on forever. It kind of kills the appeal. I'll stick with the unicorn, but no hard feelings."

Wear this shirt: While videotaping yourself posing. Make sure "Goodbye Horses" is playing in the background.

Don't wear this shirt: If you remember that scene from The Cabin in the Woods.

This shirt tells the world: "I feel a kinship with androgynous, mythical beasts."

We call this color: Royal Bluenicorn

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Features

Pantone Colors:
318C

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 17.336s
First Sucker:
Mystic2
Last Wooter to Woot:
D8Unicorns

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 0% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 22% one year old
  • 68% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

7%
5%
4%
2%
1%
1%
2%
5%
7%
8%
8%
5%
6%
5%
4%
4%
5%
1%
3%
3%
4%
4%
3%
3%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

6%
4%
3%
3%
3%
2%
80%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

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One Line One Horn by Truffleshuffle
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.