Pessimism

by BootsBoots

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Asphalt
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#11
...of 27 tees in
the Reckoning

1st place in Derby #548: Slogans

We’d make a joke about this design, but it would probably be really terrible. Like, it would probably be totally contrived and self-referential in a pathetically obvious way. It would be like that disastrous date we had when the guy was like, “Should we order some wine?” and we nervously said, “Ha ha sure, wine-not?” Get it? Because it sounded like we were saying “Why not?” Anyway, he didn’t get the joke, so we just repeated it louder (“WINE-NOT!”) and he looked sorta startled, and then we accidentally dropped a buttered roll on the floor and even though we picked it up there was still a little butter on the floor, so a passing server slipped on a bit of the butter and fell, and while he was falling, he grabbed a nearby tablecloth and knocked over a candle, and then a napkin ignited, and then it set fire to an old lady’s handbag, and the old lady was like, “MY PRESCRIPTIONS ARE IN THERE!” So we tried to put out the fire by ladling gravy on top of the handbag, but the gravy was somehow a fire accelerant so the whole purse exploded, and then the guy we were on a date with looked at us and yelled, “YOU’RE A MONSTER.” So we ran home and ate a sleeve of Oreos and decided to die alone.

It would be like that.

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Features

Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

American Apparel:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.3 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
2m 41.777s
First Sucker:
lowendofaw
Last Wooter to Woot:
chrisclancy

Purchaser Experience

  • 11% first woot
  • 6% second woot
  • 24% < 10 woots
  • 20% < 25 woots
  • 39% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 1% one month old
  • 8% one year old
  • 82% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

4%
4%
2%
2%
2%
2%
3%
6%
6%
7%
6%
6%
5%
5%
5%
4%
3%
4%
5%
3%
4%
5%
4%
4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

8%
11%
11%
9%
46%
9%
8%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

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Pessimism by BootsBoots
$10.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$10.00 $13.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.