Pineapple Vengeance

by Jim Gray


Printed to order

Ships in 1-2 business days.

Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jun 08 - Jun 13
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery Jun 06
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What the- Where am I?

“Oh, Mr. Del Monte, you have far bigger questions with which to worry yourself.”

Who are you? What have you done to me? What is this place?!

“Come now, Mr. Del Monte, surely you recognize your own production facility?”

Wha? You don’t understand. We’re such a large corporation. So many facilities-

“So you can pay your goons to mercilessly slaughter my people in the name of your decadent ‘fruit cups’ filled with our blood and torn flesh, but you can’t even bother to deem the altar of your genocide worthy of a visit?”

Who are you? What is this all about?

“My name, Mr. Del Monte, is Ananas Comosus.”

Comosus? You’re the-

“I am many things to many people, Mr. Del Monte. Your American media refer to me as leader of the Bromeliad Liberation Front, a terrorist organization. To my people in Paraguay, I am El Frutador, a hero fighting for their rights and defending their honor. But to you, Mr. Del Monte, I assure you I am the worst thing you will ever face, and the last person you will see in your rapidly-diminishing time on this earth.”

You’re a monster!

“Monster? Me? How many of our women and children are turned into pineapple slices and fruit cups?! One of us is a monster, Mr. Del Monte. But I am only god’s hand of vengeance. Here, tell me how this fruit cup tastes.”

I’m so sorry. I-

“Try it.”

I don’t want to- I’m so sorry! I’m so-

“The damage has been done, Mr. Del Monte! Now will you let their sacrifices stand for nothing?!”

Okay, okay! I’ll eat it! I’ll- What…what is this? This isn’t a fruit cup!

“Are you familiar with the biblical concept of revenge, Mr. Del Monte? An eye for an eye? For every wrong you do, you shall receive it back unto you?”

I- I don’t understand.

“I didn’t understand when I was just a boy and I lost my eye in your death factory before I could escape. My people didn’t understand either as they were fed into the fruit slicers and canned for your snacks.”

I’m so sorry-

“And neither did your wife and three children.”

Oh, god no. Oh please no! You can’t do this to me!

“You have done this to yourself. Be sure to enjoy the syrup, Mr. Del Monte. We don’t want you to regret not finishing your last meal. After all, you’re next.”

Wear this shirt: At your next fruit-based protest.

Don’t wear this shirt: On your tour of the Pineapple Juice factory. Go with something inconspicuous.

This shirt tells the world: “The scourge of globalism is delicious and packed with Vitamin C.”

We call this color: It’s me you want, not my white and kids!

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Pantone Colors:
129C - 7494C- Warm Gray 1C - 133C

Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Premium Brand:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 12.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 9% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 26% one year old
  • 61% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

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Pineapple Vengeance by Jim Gray
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.