Please Don’t Feed The Whatever That Thing Is

by Buscarov aka Paulo Vieira

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

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Asphalt
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Yet Clearly It’s An Herbivore

I thought I’d seen everything when I went to Kilimanjaro. I’d been bitten by every snake, shot by every dart, swallowed every frog, had each and every type of tooth in my leg as I held fast to the edge of my seaplane screaming JACQUES! JACQUES! PULL THE LEVER! and each time I’d narrowly escaped. But when I saw the beast, I knew there was no place to run. For as it wobbled toward me on impossible legs, the long ears flapping in the breeze, I could see the owlish determination cross its trunk, and I knew right then that Nature was the cruelest month of all. For it was her thirty days that bred this zooomniulent congealestomy so far beyond what man had ever seen that I had no choice but to fall into the giggles. And as I felt the hot sweet breath against my throat, I knew a venom that had no anti-toxin. The venom of… my own laughter.

This shirt was designed by: a fine Portuguese gentleman known as Buscarov (aka Paulo Vieira). These things run wild in his jungles, or so the legend goes. Even the leopard fears it.

Wear this shirt: when you’ve been eaten by a monster but somehow still need to narrate a story.

Don’t wear this shirt: to the Island of Doctor Moreau. He’ll want to make one of these and that will get him in legal trouble since he doesn’t own the design. He can’t afford that, he’s still paying off his student loans.

This shirt tells the world: “I am the Ron Paul of Taxonomy.”

We call this color: Asphalt Jungle

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Features

Pantone Colors:
214C - 216C - 313C - 1345C - 316C - 310C -White

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 28.000s
First Sucker:
sunwmax
Last Wooter to Woot:
slamboni

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 10% one month old
  • 42% one year old
  • 39% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

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Percentage of Sales Per Day

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Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Please Don’t Feed The Whatever That Thing Is by Buscarov aka Paulo Vieira
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.