by Nathan W. Pyle


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  • Standard - Estimated delivery May 08 - May 11
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery May 04
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Let’s Just Play Vice City Again

Aw, MAN. I knew I should have saved after beating that giant.

Okay, so, if I poison my goblet, there’s a good chance he’ll take it, because he doesn’t want to take the one I give him. But if he knows that I know that, he will take his own goblet. Plus the computer knows which goblet I pick, which means it’s probably going to cheat and pick the goblet I don’t pick, unless there’s some kind of way to make it not notice. So I can’t pick his goblet or my goblet until I figure out that side puzzle.

On top of that, I saw the name Roberta Williams in the credits, so I already know the answer’s going to be some stupid, unrepeatable piece of dream logic, like I had to remember to get milk from one specific cow in the very first scene and then have it on me when I rolled down the hill so it could turn into the only cheese that exists in the entire game which I could then carry with me during my decade on the pirate ship just to now use as an appetizer… wait, hang on, that sounds exactly like the sort of thing she’d do, doesn’t it. Let me look in my inventory… oh, wow, I guess I do have a cheese! Maybe if I use the poison on the cheese, and then drop the cheese out of my inventory and then throw a pebble so he looks for the sound… YES! IT WORKED! HE SAW THE CHEESE! HE’S PICKED IT UP! HE’S- oh, he ate it with no ill effects. Guess I missed something a few levels back. Man, and now I don’t have the cheese either. I’m going to have to start from the beginning and do all this again, and I don’t even know what “this” is supposed to be in the first place.

How could anyone have ever thought this kind of thing was good game design? I swear, it’s inconceivable!

Wear this shirt: when you’re on the line ordering a Sicilian pizza.

Don’t wear this shirt: to your dinner with Andre.

This shirt tells the world: “Never trust a big butt and a smile.”

We call this color: This shirt’s color is Slate, we mean it! Ahem, we said we mean it! C’mon, forums, that’s your cue.

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Pantone Colors:
Black - 447C - 4625C - 1685C - 485C - 122C - 7506C - White

Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Premium Brand:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 3.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 10% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 20% one year old
  • 66% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Poison by Nathan W. Pyle
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.