2nd place in Derby #175 Double-Take 11, with 536 votes!

Once upon a time, there was a little Italian fox who was very thin. He had lovely eyes, but all the other animals made fun of him. He didn’t ever get to eat any chickens and he always had to hide from the big mean bear. But this thin, hungry fox had something that no other animal in the forest had. And that was will.

So first, the little fox began to rake up lawns. “How cute!” people said. “What a nice helpful fox!” and they would come out and say “Thank you, hungry little fox! What a good thing you’re doing for the community!” And they would give him little scarves to keep him warm, and delicious cocoa to help warm him, and fresh apples to help keep him alive. And most of all, they’d give him gratitude.

So in three weeks, when the little fox beat that bear to death with a bat and took control of the neighborhood, the people didn’t say a word. “That fox?” they said to the police. “He always does such nice things! Even if he did do it, we’re not afraid of him.”

And that’s how the little fox took over all operations in the forest. And from that day on, he got a little piece of everything. And you know what? He never gave up his lawn raking business, so he never got arrested for tax violations. And he grew fat, and happy, and rich, and lived happily ever after.

Wear this shirt: while listening to Donovan’s Atlantis.

Don’t wear this shirt: for a few months after it all goes down. Send it to Florida or something. Just for a little while. Have some fun, right? Little vacation!

This shirt tells the world: “Give back to the community, and it’ll give back to you when you need an alibi.”

We call this color: I Got Nothing To Say, Call My Lawyer, His Name’s Brown

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