Rhyming Orange

by tjost


Printed to order

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Royal Blue
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jun 07 - Jun 12
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery Jun 05
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Rhyming, with Orange

It's sad, isn't it? Watching him try to play a game in which he cannot be included.

After school, all the fruits got together to practice rhyming so they would be ready once rhyme team tryouts came around. They were all at different skill levels. Banana had been doing it the longest. He was good. He could rhyme two syllable words, even complete sentences. But when it came to sheer volume, nobody could touch Orange.

"Fork, dork," he said. "Butt, smut. Tug, rug. Slow, dough." He could keep going like that for hours it seemed, so it was no surprise when he made the team and ended up being their leading scorer.

Once colleges found out about his skills, they started sending recruiters to his house to shake his parents' hands, give him a pat on the back, and say stuff like, "University of Minnesota's got a heck of a rhyme program, son." or "At West Texas State, we're looking to build something from the ground up, and we want you at the center of everything."

It went to Orange's head. He started acting cocky in practice, taking all the rhymes for himself. Well, Banana didn't like that. Sure, maybe he wasn't as good, but he deserved a few rhymes here and there. After all, rhyming was a team sport.

So, one day, after Orange had taken fourteen straight rhymes himself, Banana said, "Yo, Orange. I got a tough one for you: you."

"You, pew," said Orange. "C'mon. That's too easy."

"That's because it's not what I meant," said Banana. "What I'm looking for is something that rhymes with your name: Orange."

Orange laughed. "That's the challenge? My own name?"

"Go ahead," said Banana. "We're waiting."

Orange got into rhyming position, and said... nothing. "Give me a second, I'm tired," he said, standing back up.

"Maybe you could save some of your energy by passing the rest of us a few rhymes now and then," said Banana. The gym was totally silent now.

Orange's grin disappeared. He got back down into rhyming position. "Orange..." he said, but then stopped. "Orange..." Again, no follow-up. "Orange..." now he was screaming, but still nothing.

That was the last time Orange ever rhymed. After that practice, he quit the team and joined the varsity onomonopia squad, where he did well enough to get a scholarship to LSU. But it just wasn't the same as when he rhymed. When he rhymed, he was something special. When he rhymed, he was pretty much unstoppable. Unless, of course, he was rhyming himself.

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Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Premium Brand:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
3m 18.665s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 6% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 16% one year old
  • 74% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 3% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Rhyming Orange by tjost
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
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4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.