Rise of the Goblin King

by michaelevans

$11.00$14.00

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  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 15 - Dec 20
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery Dec 13
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Holiday Returns

Alright! I told you guys this was going to be a fun adventure!

1st place in Derby #181: Mazes and Labyrinths, with 1005 votes!

Hey Gary, I thought you said you were the “toughest DM around,” man. Even Lloyd’s Level 1 Cleric got a kill against those stupid goblins! It really took you three months to build this module? I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just a stupid set of corridors filled with wimpy goblins.

“Patience, Ellarine the Elf-”

Mark.

“What?”

When you’re talking to ME, call me Mark. I agreed to pick a stupid elf name if you would only use it in context.

“Fine, MARK. Your character, ELLARINE, and the rest of your party have come across a large tower. There seems to be no entrance, though its many spires could offer footing to an experienced hand with a grappling hook. What will you do?”

Dave, your- What the? Dave? DAVE?!

“WHAT? I’M GETTINA BEER.”

GET IN HERE AND BE YOUR THIEF FOR A MINUTE.

“Christ, FINE. What? What do you need me to do? I’m hiding in shadows.”

You CAN’T hide in shadows unless you’re perfectly still.

“There would also need to be shadows around.”

“Fine, whatever. Where are we at? The tavern?”

That was like two hours ago! Jeez. Just climb this tower and find a way out of the maze for us.

“Sure. I do that.”

“You can’t just say ‘I do that,’ man. You gotta roll.”

“Ugh, again with this &%$#ed up dice thing. Fine. I grapple up to the top.”

“What’s your dexterity?”

“What? I don’t know. Thief.”

Your SHEET, man. Look at your SHEET.

“Oh. Is 17 good?”

“Okay, your roll allows you to reach the top of the tower. Below you stretches a vast, Byzantine labyrinth so complex you can’t decipher a safe route. As you pan your gaze upward, though, you notice…let me roll here…oooh, FIVE hulking goblin monstrosities, each taller than the very tower upon which you’re perched. They are lumbering toward your party.”

What? Are you &%$#ing serious?

“Roll for initiative, Dave.”

“Two.”

“Okay, the giant sun-eclipsing behemoths will attack first. What’s everyone’s armor class?”

&%$# you, Gary.

Wear this shirt: While dusting off your copy of “Shadow of the Colossus.” Live the dream!

Don’t wear this shirt: During an actual attack by giant unholy monsters. White stands out and is easily noticed.

This shirt tells the world: “In MY version, Don Quixote was right.”

We call this color: At least it’s not a level-draining White

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Features


Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

American Apparel:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.3 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Specs


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 40.000s
First Sucker:
sagangwee
Last Wooter to Woot:
infamouscael

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 6% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 30% one year old
  • 62% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12%
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12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

4%
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2%
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81%
3%
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Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

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Rise of the Goblin King by michaelevans
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.