Sakura Samurai

by patrickspens


Printed to order

Ships in 1-2 business days.

Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jul 06 - Jul 11
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery Jul 03
add to cart

It’s A Feudal Situation

1st place in Derby #145: Spring, with 1146 votes!

A true samurai knows no fear. A true samurai knows only a devotion to his duty, and the protection of his lord. So while passers-by might laugh and yell in scorn, the true samurai does not care. For the true samurai died the day before, and as such, he can now do the things that are required of him, without fear.

Asleep? No, not asleep. The samurai is braced, with eyes closed in concentration. For is not the tree the home of the evil spirit that has hated the family of his lord for many generations? And does not the tree draw closer every year? Look at that stance, legs against well-buried stone. He is not resting. He is straining. Straining alone. For what need has the true samurai for the adoration and glory of others, if he in his heart knows his duty is performed?

And his katana, his strong right arm. Forgotten? No, not forgotten. That katana pins the very earth that would rise to shatter the palace of his lord, leaving the ancestral home in pieces. That katana traps the earth along the most volatile of fault lines, holding the land together at the very point where it would otherwise be most weak. That katana is not a loss. It is a sacrifice. A strong right arm giving freely out of duty to his lord.

So let the common rabble laugh and slander in the town. The samurai knows his duty, and will perform it at any cost. His name, his weapons, his very life, all are forfeit for the greater glory and safety of his lord.

Man, quit snoring, okay? They were buyin’ it! Help us help you!

Wear this shirt: when taking a nap between features at an all-day Kurosawa festival.

Don’t wear this shirt: to a renaissance faire. The two cultures did not meet until well after that period so they would have to ask you to leave and then you wouldn’t get to eat any turkey legs or fried dough.

This shirt tells the world: “If you DON’T keep an eye on them every second they’ll grow HUGE and kill EVERYBODY. Why do you think the Japanese invented bonsai in the FIRST place?”

We call this color: Internet Writers/Mostly Use Haiku To Cheat/The Color Is Brown

Back to top


Pantone Colors:
7422C - 478C - 7533C- 7472C - 5753C - Black

Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Premium Brand:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 44.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 6% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 27% one year old
  • 63% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (134 comments)
join the discussion (134 comments)
Sakura Samurai by patrickspens
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.