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by fishbiscuit5


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  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jul 10 - Jul 13
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery Jul 06
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Representative Green Beard, you have the floor.

2nd place in Derby #240: Take THAT, Ninja!, with 729 votes!

Arrr, mateys and landlubbers alike. Fine my eyes meet ye here on this morrow.

Good morning, friends and fellow United Nations delegates. I am honored to be speaking to you here today.

Things be tighter than a parrot’s beakhole, and I come hopin’ to offer parley.

Tensions between the Pirate Republic and the United States have reached an all-time high, but we remain committed to productive negotiations and talks.

Fairly warned be ye: stop flappin’ yer trap and tellin’ untrue tales, mateys. A long walk off a short plank awaits any soul who dares speak ill o’ the pirate clan!

We continue to adamantly refute the United States’ false and misleading allegations concerning our Kraken research program.

No need for such gypsy magic, has a pirate! The blade of a sword and the ball of a musket be all we need to take what we want!

Our research into resurrecting the Kraken, a giant mythical sea squid, is strictly for peaceful, power-generating applications.

Seagulls be damned, you got us by the short and curlies. ‘Tis harder than a barnacle’s backside to be movin’ grog by the barrel these days.

That said, we recognize the UN sanctions have adversely impacted our economy.

So send yer bravest o’ souls to the Isle of Skulls, if you dare. No safe passage shall we guarantee, but if ye survive, heroes ye shall be.

We are open to resuming inspections of our Kraken development facilities by UN representatives in exchange for the lifting of economic sanctions and the grog embargo.

Now avast, ye swabs! What say ye?!

We hope this is the first step towards a productive and peaceful relationship between our nations. Thank you.

Wear this shirt: Any time you’re taking a boat ride. If you’re shipwrecked with a pirate in some kind of Enemy Mine situation, it’s your only hope.

Don’t wear this shirt: If you want to be taken seriously as an adult.

This shirt tells the world: “Arrr, four years o’ schoolin’ in me wee days and another four in college and all I know is how to ask for another beer!”

We call this color: I sat in the black of my ESL classes.

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Pantone Colors:

Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Premium Brand:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 22.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 89% second woot
  • 11% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 5% joined today
  • 0% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 22% one year old
  • 70% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 89% bought 1
  • 10% bought 2
  • 2% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

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join the discussion (87 comments)
Some Translation Required by fishbiscuit5
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.