1st place in Derby #254: Trompe-l'œil, with 635 votes!

Some people are like, "Have you tried that new world restaurant? They've got a world with avocado and cream cheese -- deep fried, and it'll really rock your world." Maybe I'm old-fashioned (I was created from the sentience of the previous universe, after all), but I guess I'm a purist. I like worlds sashimi-style: No frills.

So I'm a little torn with this new place where you eat worlds off of a naked solar system. I mean, on one hand the worlds are really top-notch: Fresh, M-class, everything. But I feel sort of bad for the solar system I'm eating it off of, y'know?

I would just prepare my own worlds to eat, but I'm a total klutz in the kitchen. I may wield the Power Cosmic, and I may be capable of transmuting matter and time into anything I wish. But when it comes to preparing a nice platter of worlds, I'm hopeless.

My buddy Mario is more into consuming whole stars rather than planets. But that dude's insane. Last time I ate a star I was at the head for eons. No, really, it was eons.

Wear this shirt: under your powered armor to prevent chafing.

Don't wear this shirt: in a cave.

This shirt tells the world: "It's-a-me, copyright infringement!"

We call this color: Black Stealth Armor MKI

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