Third place in Derby #267: Double-Take Derby 18, with 466 votes!

"Hi, I'm Angie! Come on in, you guys!"

"Hi, Angie. I'm Dana and this is Ethan, my fiance."

"We're really excited about getting to see the place."

"Great! Let's get right to it!"

"What's that smell?"

"Don't worry about that. We'll have cleaners in here before you guys move in. So this is it: 710 square feet, subterranean, natural surface flooring-"

"It looks like dirt."

"It is! The unit is a VERY eco-conscious design."

"The ceilings are pretty low."

"So the previous tenant was…differently abled. You'll notice a lot of things are lower than in an average home. Of course you're welcome to do any renovations you might care to take on."

"So what happened to the previous tenant?"

"No clue, to be honest. The neighbors complained about a party one night, but when I showed up to try and talk to him he was gone. Some creepy homeless guy told me he left on some kind of quest or something. Anyway, here's the bathroom."

Wear this shirt: While visiting the Shire.

Don't wear this shirt: To Mordor. One does not simply wear this shirt to Mordor.

This shirt tells the world: "I too am extremely short and hairy."

We call this color: Hobbits smoke grass green

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