The House Always Wins

by Wenceslao Almazan


Printed to order

Ships in 1-2 business days.

Kelly Green
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jul 11 - Jul 14
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery Jul 07
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Veghiss, Baby, Veghiss

Welcome to the Anaconda Casino! We’ve got a room waiting for you! Ask the desk clerk about our special “high roller” rates.

I gotta tell you, Jackie, when you said you knew a little place, I didn’t think you had any idea what you were talking about. But maaaan! You got some STYLE! Hey, hey, did you get a load of these casino walls? Real snakeskin? Get outta here! They must’ve sank some serious money into the design of this place. And look how it’s all laid out! It’s like they never want you to leave!

Okay, so here’s the plan. I’ll go get the room, and you take a little tour of the casino floor and find all the games. Then we’ll meet at the buffet and grab a bite. All you can eat, huh? Crab AND pizza? Wow! After that, maybe a few hours at the slots, get some free alcohol, then maybe we can talk to the concierge about having some girls swallowed for the night. Hey, don’t get all prudish on me now, Jackie. It’s legal here, remember? Them snakes took care of everything when the built this town!

Oh, Jackie! Jackie, wait! Wait! Look at that hat! You see that? I gotta go in there, I gotta… Yeaaaaaah. Jackie, do you think this hat makes me look like Sinatra? It does, right? I think so too. Really brings out my… yeah, I’m buyin’ this hat. ‘Scuse me, miss, I want to go ahead and get this… Wait, I can just charge it to the room? And get right back to the games? Ha ha! Jackie, this place is GREAT! Man, I’m NEVER leaving! NEVER!

Wear this shirt: when out with your own personal Rat Pack.

Don’t wear this shirt: when playing gnulette. Veldt games have a very strict hierarchy, you see.

This shirt tells the world: “You think this is bad, you should see what happens in Atlantic City.”

We call this color: Kelly Green started out with Sammy, but then Sammy went for Joey so she went after Dean, only Dean was scared of commitment so he left her for Marilyn, but then Marilyn went after Jack, so Dean had to take Joey and since Sammy wasn’t interested any more, Kelly Green ended up doing some work in Italy and eventually married some producer in Monaco.

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Pantone Colors:
7499C - 347C - 7484C

Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Premium Brand:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 44.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 12% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 7% one month old
  • 31% one year old
  • 48% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

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The House Always Wins by Wenceslao Almazan
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.