1st place in Derby #99: The Sun, with 1185 votes!

How did you guys vote for this? Did you just misunderstand? Did you think it was the last moments of a dramatic battle between a giant space orange and an heroic man and his dog? Because if that’s what a thousand of you thought, we can understand why you voted for this.

But that’s not a space orange. That’s the Sun, breaking apart. We’re not sure how plasma breaks like that but it apparently does. And that means the end of everything. The cute squirrels, the happy birds, the darling little kittens, the whiny fanatics who hate squirrels, birds and kitties, everything. It’s all gone, all of it, right after the moment captured on this shirt.

What’s wrong with you people? Too much playing video games, if you ask us. Your mother was right.

Wear this shirt: while your band is performing Sunny. It’ll be a nice contrast. Music is all about contrast.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you really did vote for the giant space orange. You were probably looking forward to today and we ruined it for you by explaining it. We’re sorry.

This shirt tells the world: “Welp…”

We call this color: In About An Hour From Now No One Will Be Left To Cranberry The Dead

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