The Strange Objects
by Alby Letoy
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Little can be said about the importance of time travel in Ancient Egypt. The pharaoh demanded tools for time transport and was kind of a big turd about keeping them to himself (Blombersmore 1878, 119-120 n. 3). Recent findings reveal a particular affinity for transport to America’s Western frontier, because the pharaoh really liked wearing boots (Grandpa 2001, 100 n. 5). It is known that forward time travel was achieved in a terrible car, a phone box which appears to be from the United Kingdom, and some sort of hot water pit (Applebee’s 3012, 603-440 n. 7). Some question whether a corn field and a television remote control were also used to help the pharaoh project forward in time and live out his cowboy fantasies (Doug 2013, 449-500 n. 8). If there is anything to be certain about, it’s that those dudes sure knew how to party.
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