2nd place in Derby #46: Green, with 677 votes!

Oh, sure, nature’s real pretty. So was Mata Hari. But believe me, all that green isn’t there to make us humans feel good. It’s nature’s insidious way of concealing some of her most lethal creatures: venomous frogs, murderous lizards, the elusive green rhino. Of course you’ve never seen a green rhino – that’s exactly the point. But they’re there, waiting with the rest of their green assassins, just waiting…but for what? Until evolution gives them wings, opposable thumbs, and laser vision? Or until all the preservatives in human food make us color-blind? It hasn’t been easy being green. Sometime soon, they’re going to take their frustration out on the rest of us. And we won’t even see it coming.

This shirt was designed by: Woot member thedansterwashere. We think we saw him making copies.

Wear this shirt: if you’re one of those superheroes or supervillains who can control plant life or talk to lizards. Casual is the new costume.

Don’t wear this shirt: hunting, unless you’re suicidal.

This shirt tells the world: “I never stop to smell the flowers. You never know what might be hiding in there.”

We call this color: Splendor in the Grass. And Also, Lizards And Frogs.

Back to top