Sure, you can terrorize the neighborhood all year long but tonight's supposed to be an armistice?

Ah, I've waited so long for this. You kids have made my life a living hell with your skateboards and your bike ramps and your stupid loud parties and ugly dog. And now here you come, panhandling for sugar.

Sure, dig in! Take a handful, take two! I've spent a lot of time preparing these treats especially for you. I can't wait to hear what you think of them! Heheheheh, hahahahaha. Yes, treats. They're treats. Delicious, sugary treats.

What are you doing? No! You can't throw those at my house! Stop it! Stop it you stupid kids!

Wear this shirt: While handing out candy.

Don't wear this shirt: In your mugshot for handing out tainted candy.

This shirt tells the world: "Yeah, I guess you could say I'm kind of a sociopath."

We call this color: As black as my cold, dead heart.

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