So...can we have rainbows back yet? 

As a straight white man, I've got it pretty good. Nobody has much of a prejudice about me, there are no hurdles I must overcome if I wish to succeed. Everything's pretty hunky-dorey over here. I only ask for one thing...

Can we please have rainbows back? I know, I know, they have been a symbol of gay rights for decades, and I think that's great. And we should definitely find a replacement symbol for that cause. It's just that it's a little unfair that the rest of us aren't allowed to use rainbows, don't you think?

Let's be clear: Rainbows are great. Name something that wouldn't look better with a rainbow arching majestically behind it. A centaur? Yup. A beautiful woman? YES. A smaller rainbow? You betcha. Why does it have to be a "thing" every time I hang a rainbow banner over my front door? I JUST LIKE RAINBOWS.

We straight white men haven't asked for a lot lately. It's been give-give-give with us. So please, gay community, do us a solid and give us back rainbows. We'll let you marry or something -- promise.

Wear this shirt: at the start of the party.

Don't wear this shirt: at the end of the party.

This shirt tells the world: "If it's yellow and fizzy, I'm in a tizzy."

We call this color: All's well with brown ale

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