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You kids have it easy. Back when I was young we didn’t even HAVE t-shirts. We had to wear chickens. We had to take the chickens out of the coop and pull them on over our heads and go to school. We’d meet in the halls and make fun of the poor kids who didn’t even have chickens. They all had sparrows, and not even new sparrows, they were hand-me-down sparrows from cousins and uncles.
This shirt was designed by: keyser520. People didn’t just put numbers at the end of their names when I was young. Numbers had to be earned. You’d put in a good dozen years of work before you even knew what a dozen was! Not like today. Not like today at all.
Wear this shirt: I’ll tell you where you can’t wear this shirt: to school! I don’t care what you think is going on but back in my day we wore a tie! And we were proud! When it was a special occasion we wore a second tie! We tied it to our tie and looked at ourselves in the mirror and said “That’s quite a nice tie’s tie, President and Mrs. Van Buren!” You didn’t just talk to the president without a tie’s tie!
Don’t wear this shirt: That’s what’s wrong with the world today, too many people getting in the way of freedom. When I was a boy you’d just grab shirts off the trees and time you liked. That’s where the name came from, they used to be called Tree Shirts! It wasn’t until the Grand Admonishment that the League of Nations shortened it to appease the Romanians. That’s how Chuck Berry was discovered.
This shirt tells the world: See that snow? That used to be all we had to play with. Everyday we’d get out of school and we’d only have fifteen minutes before we had to be at the coal mine and so we’d all make snowmen and name them. Mine was Van St. Thomas, the Snowbovian Duke, and every day I’d add another pinecone medal to his chest. One day I went to the top of the mountain and he was gone. Left a note that said he’d been deposed by an angry mob. I never forgave democracy for what it did to Van St. Thomas. I’ve been a neo-Proustian ever since. But you can’t do that today, no sixth party allowed in America, no sir, Land of the Free, my BUTT!
We call this color: Grandma, Can You Please Tell Him To Shut Up Now Blue
Pantone Colors:
WhiteShirt Color: Royal Blue
Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology
Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.
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