Where’s The Cheese?

by patrickspens


Printed to order

Ships in 1-2 business days.

Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jul 06 - Jul 11
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery Jul 03
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We Have A Problem

3rd place in Derby #246: Animals Re-Enact History, with 596 votes!

“Major Buttons. Major Buttons, do you copy? Over.”

There would be no fanfare when he returned to Earth. No cameras would greet him as he stepped out of the capsule; no fancy parades were planned within in the walls of the lab. Though he had done what no mouse in history ever had, only strained smiles and a few paw pats on the back would be his congratulations, followed by a large red stamp on his mission file that read “Failure.”

“Our instruments read you have exited the module, Major Buttons. Can you confirm? Please respond, over.”

It wasn’t his fault, of course. All the available data about that strange orb in the night sky seemed to point the way to a delicious destiny for every mouse, rat, and rodent alive. But now that he knew the dusty, rocky truth of this place, a new future for his kind flashed before his eyes, a future filled with more cages. More mazes. More tests. They would suffer a loss of morale so great, all of mousekind would never recover.

“Major, please respond. Do you have cheese confirmation? Over.”

Buttons deactivated the exterior cameras, flicked the comm switch to off, and let the static in his headset flood his ears. Control would be in a mad scramble now trying to figure out what was going on. There would be endless questions about the fate of their hero and whether or not it was worth the mission of making another attempt. Maybe they’d take it as a warning and explore one of the other countless twinkling lights he could see from the canopy. Surely one of those was made of cheese, right?

But at least they wouldn’t lose hope.

There were only a few days worth of water and food pellets left in the module. ‘Good,’ he thought. ‘At least I’ll have a little time to myself to enjoy the view.’

Wear this shirt: while meeting Neil Armstrong, who I hear is a heck of a guy.

Don’t wear this shirt: while meeting Buzz Aldrin, who might punch you in the face if he thinks the shirt is making light of the Moon landing.

This shirt tells the world: “That’s one small step for mouse; one giant disappointment for mousekind.”

We call this color: Black Side of the Moon

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Pantone Colors:
White - 1215C - 496C - 361C - 284C - 425C

Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Premium Brand:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 23.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 25% one year old
  • 63% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Where’s The Cheese? by patrickspens
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.