Wild Turkeys RULE

by Luke Wisner


Printed to order

Ships in 1-2 business days.

Royal Blue
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jun 09 - Jun 14
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery Jun 07
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The Die Is All-Star Of Thousands

The rich tapestry of the future. Much like 2001 or Debbie Does Dallas, it all begins with a bone. A bone of destiny, a bone of power, a bone that grants the user the power to reshape the universe however he or she wants, just this once.

But what if you make a mistake? What if you wish for a fancy car and then the money comes from your grandmother’s will? What if that cheerleader turns out to be a dude? Or that dude turns out to be a cheerleader? Or the dude you thought was a cheerleader that was secretly a dude turns out to be just a cheerleader pretending to be a dude that is secretly a cheerleader? Yeah, secret wishes can get really complex in this post-internet age.

If only there was some way to go back and change that before it even started. A way to heal the crack of destiny and try again, or even better, just take a different path entirely. If only that cast could be applied by some sort of doctor, a doctor known for healing time, a doctor known for making it better when it breaks, a doctor who… hang on a second, I got this great idea for a TV show.

This shirt was designed by: Luke Wisner. If you’d like to learn more about Luke Wisner, visit your local library. Remember, according to FBI Director Williams S. Sessions, Wisners don’t use drugs!

Wear this shirt: to Thanksgiving dinner, in order to make it clear that you are prepared for a do-over. Maybe you can slap the gravy with a fork and whoever gets the most on their face is the winner. Maybe you can see who can make a bigger stack of peas in twenty seconds. Maybe whoever gets the last bit of fruit in the Waldorf salad. Always room in the world for a new way to get wishes.

Don’t wear this shirt: and think about how it itches underneath. A deep itching. An itching like you’ve never felt before. Like a million ants, walking, slowly, single file, spread out from left to right, each step slow and calculated, moving in ceaseless waves from wrist to elbow. Don’t think about any of that.

This shirt tells the world: “Not so fast, Mr. Beggar, that horse isn’t ready to ride just yet.”

We call this color: Royal Pain In The Arm

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Pantone Colors:
462C - 7499C - 122C - 158C - 5497C -White

Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Premium Brand:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 4.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 11% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 6% one month old
  • 43% one year old
  • 38% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Wild Turkeys RULE by Luke Wisner
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.