Esperanto? The Edsel? Ishtar? Cop Rock? Creative people have brought us so many bombs you’d think they’d get a free subscription to Jane’s. But even still, you can be sure that at least one person still watched Joey every night and they still keep one eye out for that second season DVD. Who are you to say they are any less human?

Scientists often think that life only happened on this world because it has a little wobble. All of this, from Stripperella to the second Frankie Goes To Hollywood album, might exist because things weren’t technically perfect. Isn’t that an amazing thing to consider? All those stars out there might be looking down on us and saying we’re the planet that’s so bad it’s good. No wonder everyone here is so fascinated with bombs.

This shirt was designed by: APB Clothing. APB was founded in 1999 and likes to satirize the establishment and it stands for “American Pig Brand” and probably they all went to art school because they sent us a bio-statement the size of the Constitution. Head over to their site if you want to read it all. They’re awfully smart. We’re just lazy typists.

Wear this shirt: when you’re going to the local underground record store to buy a copy of Big Black’s Atomizer. What? There aren’t any more local underground record stores? Well, where do you buy new music? Oh, really? Wow.

Don’t wear this shirt: near an airport, in a government building, around a protest, or when you’re walking near all that land the President bought in Argentina and Paraguay. However, it would be perfect for your band’s big appearance on MTV. Just be sure to name check us when they ask. Last guy who forgot to do that vanished into obscurity. We know people, see.

This shirt tells the world: “See that? That’s Australia! Everything there can kill you. The air is razor blades and the water is kangaroo urine. Just like me. So you just watch your step if you want to stay healthy.”

We call this color: Carlos The Blackal.

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