It must be peanut butter and jelly, ‘cause peanut butter and jam don’t shake like that

I’ve been searching the web for evidence documenting the existence of a Peanut Butter & Jelly song we used to sing in my neighborhood as kids. It wasn’t the classic R&B number. It wasn’t “Peanut Butter Jelly Time.” It wasn’t even “Peanut Butter and Jelly, That’s All I Put in My Belly,” the song Carvelli sang at the talent show on “Welcome Back, Kotter.”

It wasn’t the putative kiddie campfire classic performed here by a certain purple, prehistoric human rights violator either. It was kind of a mutation of this one, though. Maybe it was a regional variation? Maybe my neighbor made it up?

I guess we’ll never know.

Wear this shirt: so you always have something at hand with which you can swab the sticky residue from your face.

Don’t wear this shirt: amongst our enemies overseas, who have long coveted the secret peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich formula.

This shirt tells the world: “I was manufactured using the same equipment that may have also processed peanuts.”

We call this color: Chunky or Creme-y

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