Yes I’m a Kleptomaniac

by Denise Tadla (aka HorsefaceDee)

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

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Nice shirt, think I’ll take it

The first step is admitting you have someone else’s property.

First they steal our shirts, then they steal our hearts. What is it about scofflaws that keeps us chasing after them? Oh yeah—because they’ve got our stuff. Well, the heart wants what it wants, we suppose, whether the heart can pay for it legitimately or not. With that in mind, we present:

Pick-Up Lines for Kleptomaniacs (and the People who Love Them)

01. Was your father a thief? Because I’m pretty sure those are my shoes you’re wearing.

02. Could I borrow a quarter? My mother told me to call her when I met the girl of my dreams. And also to call the police if I ever recognize the suspect from our home security video. So maybe two quarters, actually.

03. Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my dreams all night. Oh, wait, I didn’t mean “through my dreams,” I meant “from the mall security guy.”

04. Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven? And landed inside the security fence at the long-term airport parking lot? And broke the window of my Chevy Aveo? And took my iPod and GPS?

05. Is that a package of shredded cheese, some magazines, a DVD copy of Elektra, and a two-liter of Mr. Pibb in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

Wear this shirt: with a mink stole. It’s cheaper than a mink purchased.

Don’t wear this shirt: anyplace where they still cut off hands. You know, like Somalia, or your high school shop classroom.

This shirt tells the world: “yoink!”

We call this color: Caught Red-Handed

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Features

Pantone Colors:
White

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 27.000s
First Sucker:
ElementCy
Last Wooter to Woot:
dwinanto

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 5% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 24% one year old
  • 69% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

15%
5%
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3%
5%
5%
5%
5%
4%
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4%
4%
2%
2%
5%
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4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

90%
4%
1%
1%
2%
2%
1%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Yes I’m a Kleptomaniac by Denise Tadla (aka HorsefaceDee)
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.