“MOOOOOOOOM! You’re ruining Halloween with your dumb safety concerns!”

Don’t get all grumpy with me, little Miss! There’s no law that says you HAVE to go trick or treating, y’know!

sigh “FINE.”

Okay. What time do you have to be home?

“Nine at the latest.”

Unless…?

“Unless we hear the cat.”

Good. And what are we going to avoid?

“Mooooooom, we know it!”

You’re not leaving until I know you know it.

“Ugh. We’re going to avoid any cheese, peanut butter, or nuts left near metal wires or in the middle of small patches of sticky plastic.”

Right. Now let me put some reflective tape on your costumes.

“MOOOOOOOOOM!”

Wear this shirt: While safely guiding your kids around the darkened streets of your neighborhood from a sufficiently non-embarrassing distance.

Don’t wear this shirt: On Christmas.

This shirt tells the world: “There’s always that one kid with the store-bought costume who spends the whole night wheezing and straining to see through an injection-molded plastic mask.”

We call this color: All Blackow’s Eve

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