1st place in Derby #193: Catchy Slogans for Everyday Products, with 1168 votes!

Juan old boy! So long since our last meeting. Good to see you! Please, come into the parlour. I was just about to regale our guests here with tales of my most recent expedition to the dark, wild jungles of South America!

We had happened across some locals far more pleasant than any we’d previously encountered. Their legends were similar to those I’d heard which had led me to the heart of the murderous jungle in the first place. Yes old chaps: I was hunting the dread beast yerba maté.

I stalked my quarry through trees 15 meters tall, keeping low to the ground so as not to disturb the brute. I happened upon a clearing filled with them! Evergreen serrated leaves, small greenish-white flowers, red drupe fruit, it could only be the maté. I readied my rifle and took aim.

The rest, as they say, is history. Another three months and I was back here in merry old England having the leaves mounted on my wall. Truly it’s a testament to British heroism!

Oh, of course. I’m sorry, Juan. Please. We’re all rapt with attention waiting for another tale of you riding around Peru on your donkey.

Wear this shirt: While sipping your sleepytime tea before bed.

Don’t wear this shirt: Into a Starbucks.

This shirt tells the world: “The important thing about having class is making sure everyone knows you do.”

We call this color: Leafy Brown Goodness

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