Hey, check out this little dancing figure, who bears no intentional resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead! All we know is that he or she appears to be wearing a style of jacket that was popular around 1982, for some reason. Beyond that, who knows? Between the low-resolution graphics, the fog of memory, and the ravages of excessive plastic surgery, it’s impossible to say who this thrilling little character reminds us of. And that’s exactly what we’ll tell the judge.

This shirt was designed by: Derby contestant rushblume, whom we hear has 21 zippers located in various places on his body.

Wear this shirt: if you put your sequins on one glove at a time.

Don’t wear this shirt: unless you are the one who will dance on the floor in the round.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m one in 40 million.”

We call this color: And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Asphalt For Getting Down.

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