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1985 B.C.

by tgentry

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer

Maybe It’s Time For A Prequel

1st place in Derby #129: Ancient Egypt, with 839 votes!

Okay, see, this here is one of the oldest stones humankind has found. Thankfully, I can read this ancient language, so I can tell it to you. It’s the story of a young man… hmmm. Says here he got involved with his mother and chased away his father. Oh! It’s the story of Oedipus! Wait, wait, there’s more. Something about an old man going over 309,760 cubits an hour. Wow, this is really crazy stuff. But consistent, strangely, incredibly consistent.

Okay, so the young man is apparently named Calvin, and he’s from space or something, and he had to… summon lightning? And the old man made some magic symbol out of… aw, this is just some crazy fairy tale. Listen, why don’t we just throw this stone away and find something decent to talk about. It’s clear that nobody could ever follow a crazy story like this. Hey, why don’t we try something like Santa Claus: The Movie? That’s the kind of no-brainer that’ll always be a hit.

Wear this shirt: in photos, constantly. That way you’ll have a reference point if something is altered in the past.

Don’t wear this shirt: when you meet with the Egyptian terrorists to buy the plutonium. They might read it and figure out what’s going on.

This shirt tells the world: “Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!”

We call this color: “Egyptian Creme? I thought they were from Libya! Doc, something must have been altered in the past! We gotta fix it and save my Dad from… Pharaoh Biff? Come on, Doc, let’s get moving.”

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 3.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 27% one year old
  • 63% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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1985 B.C. by tgentry
$19.00 Sold Out Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.