The Affair That Destroyed San Francisco

Ah, it’s that time of year. Birds are singing, trees are budding, and a young monster’s fancy turns to thought of gettin’ it on. Yes, love is in the air.

What is it about springtime? The Earth wakes from her winterlong slumber, flowers push up out of the soil, and prehistoric mutant reptiles stir from their ocean-trench beds. Young people shed their cold-weather outerwear, exposing long-obscured sections of their skin to the sun, and strut through the streets in a mating season display, rousing dormant libidos as they parade.

Yeah, that’s one sure sign of spring: rampaging hormones.

Wear this shirt: while running right at the camera, screaming.

Don’t wear this shirt: in major cities that have been attacked by radioactive megafauna in the past ten years (TOO SOON).

This shirt tells the world: “I heart BBWs”

We call this color: Black Is The Color Of My True Love’s Fur

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