A True Player
by Alan Ashcraft
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"You walk into your hometown after many years of absence. Rain pelts the dark streets, soaking you."
"I look for a local tavern."
"You roam the streets, searching for a pub or inn. But it is 2am and all the bars are closed. You forgot they close so early in Massachusetts."
"Oh right. OK, I go to "Tonic" -- that place is always open."
"You enter "Tonic" to the blasting notes of reggaeton. Stoli Vanilla and Jaegermeister line the bar, and a few patrons huddle in the dark corners away from the empty dance floor."
"I approach one of the patrons and ask for news."
"You strike up a conversation with a local nursing a Budweiser Platinum. Soon you recognize the time-ravaged face of that of your former classmate, Mike Hauge."
"Mike Hauge?? I hated that guy."
"'Ditmer!' he cries, tapping you playfully on the crotch…"
"Oh God, he did do that. I hated that."
"'Mr. fancy-pants city-boy is finally back in Lowell, huh?' he asks."
"Ugh. I don't want to talk to this meathead. I walk away."
"Mike calls after you, questioning both your masculinity and sexual persuasion."
"That's it. This guy needs to learn a lesson. I attack him."
"Roll a d20."
"Yes!"
"You swing with your fist and land a shattering blow, knocking Mike unconscious. The police are called and you are arrested for assault."
"Crap. I hate this role-playing game."
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