Being a magic hat… I guess you get desensitized after a while. It’s just kind of a job now.

But the hard part is going home. When he’s out getting applause, I can’t even look myself in the mirror. I’ve been to every haberdasher and dry cleaners, but I still feel dirty.

There’s no part of me that’s mine any more. He’s had cards under my hatband, pigeons in my lining, once he even loaned me out to this stranger for Paul Dini’s bachelor party. A stranger! And yet, I’m there every night, upside down, and wide open to let him do whatever he wants. He knows I could never walk away from him. He’s my whole life. I’ll do whatever he wants me to do, and thank him for it.

I just wish he’d be a little more considerate about all the rabbits.

Wear this shirt: because it goes well with cufflinks and white gloves. Or course, you’d have to hold the cufflinks.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re super super thin. Sends the wrong message.

This shirt tells the world: “Ew, don’t you hate it when you get a hare stuck in the back of your throat?”

We call this color: Baby Bl-luesionist

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