Adorable Killer
by Letter-Q
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The family of missionaries from the Church of Python had been traveling across the desolate continent of Cult Fandom for nearly three weeks before they came to a small disheveled settlement.
"Papa, I don't like this," said the daughter, as soon as they'd gotten out of their jeep. "This place scares me."
"Nonsense! I see nothing to be afraid of!" said her father, though he couldn't help but agree: the village was strange. The houses were all made entirely of glass, and in them, the inhabitants stood stock still.
"Can we help you with something?" said a man in tattered spandex, appearing behind them suddenly and without warning. The mother nearly jumped, and the son and daughter gasped and hugged each other out of fear.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, you could," said the father. He took on his most oratory tone. "We come to teach of a film! A hilarious film, filled with absurdity and nonsense and occasionally cartoonist violence! You and your fellow townspeople would find a new sense of solace in its glory!"
The man smiled and shook his head. "Oh no, no. I'm sorry, sir. These things aren't up to me. I'm just a lowly Cattrall, you see? You'll want to speak to High Priestess Cattrall."
The father exchanged confused looks with his wife. "I'm sorry, but am I understanding that you're both named Cattrall?"
"We're all Cattralls here, sir," the man said. The family stood, quietly considering this incomprehensible statement for a moment until bell rang out loudly. The man took the father by the arm. "Come, come! All will be revealed at the service!"
The family took seats at the back of the church. The High Priestess stood at the front wearing an all-pink suit. Behind her, there hung a projection screen. "Before we begin, a prayer: like the Great Cattrall in the Sky, may we all come to life anew each day, more alive than the last. Amen."
"Amen," said the villagers.
The High Priestess. The lights dimmed. A projector sputtered on. The family of Python Missionaries watched in horror as the title appeared on the screen: Mannequin.
Our graphic tees are made for every day that you need to get shirt done! Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our shirts are printed in the USA and every time you buy a shirt, one of our talented artists gets paid!
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For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.
For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.
For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.
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