1st place in Derby #162: Cryptozoology Redux, with 1315 votes!

Listen to yourself, Gary. You sound like one of those superstitious islanders, now. A 360+ feet long squid-fish hybrid sea monster? In beautiful little Funka Bay? Don’t make me laugh.

Fine, you know what? Be scared. Either way we have to finish this geological survey for the submerged floating tunnel proposal, so let’s just get it done.

OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT?!

Ha ha! Gotcha! Man, you are jumpy! What’s the worst that could happen? We’re in a submersible, Gary. This thing is made to handle the most extreme pressure man can overcome. I don’t care how big your stupid fish monster is, it couldn’t even touch us!

Okay, joke’s over, Gary. Stop fiddling with the sonar. The whole thing’s lit up. I’m not falling for it.

Gary, stop causing the hull to pop and shriek like that.

GARY, YOU STOP CRUSHING THIS SUBMERSIBLE IN YOUR GIANT TENTACLES!

Wear this shirt: On a small fishing boat off the coast of Japan’s northernmost prefecture.

Don’t wear this shirt: In the midwest. Landlocked states just don’t appreciate sea legends.

This shirt tells the world: “This explains all those Japanese movies full of tentacles. Hmm? I mean, I’ve heard about ‘em. I don’t watch them any more…than the average tentacle enthusiast.”

We call this color: Way Brown Deep Below the Waves

Back to top