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All Sails Ahead!

by Patrickspens

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Nov 18 - Nov 19
  • Express - Estimated delivery Nov 15
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Cruise Of The Doomed

1st place in Derby #240: Take THAT, Ninja!, with 800 votes!

Isn’t this amazing, honey? The two of us chained up here against the mast and afraid for our lives! It all feels so authentic, don’t you think? The captain’s a little too Geoffrey Rush and not enough Johnny Depp for my tastes, but who cares? I didn’t even pay for any Pirate Adventure package! But don’t say anything to the actors, okay? It’s not on us to correct their mistake. Let’s just enjoy it, all right?

Dang it, I just wish I’d had taken a video with my phone when the ship materialized out of thin air on the ocean. Do you think they’ll have a commemorative DVD at the gift shop at the next port? You know, now that I think about it, I think George and his wife might have recorded it. I’ll have to ask him when we see him.

Oh, honey, I’m sure George is fine. He’s probably been in on it the whole time! And when the ghost captain stabbed him in the heart and had his men throw him overboard, that was just special effects, that’s all! I bet he’s below deck right now, feasting away on some pirate-themed buffet along with all those lucky so-and-sos who were “killed” when we were boarded. They probably paid for a cheaper package or something. When you think about it, we’re pretty lucky to be here.

Do you think he’ll make us walk the plank? Oh, maybe he’ll keelhaul us! Gosh, I hope he keelhauls us. The kids are going to FLIP when they hear about this!

Wear this shirt: when you want to loot and plunder the office fridge.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re a member of the MPAA or RIAA.

This shirt tells the world: “Avast!” or “Yar!” or something pirate-y like that.

We call this color: Asphalty Sea Dog

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 28.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 91% second woot
  • 9% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 5% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 20% one year old
  • 72% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 91% bought 1
  • 7% bought 2
  • 2% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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All Sails Ahead! by Patrickspens
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.