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An exhaustive guide to cuts of meat

by thatrobert

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Oct 22 - Oct 24
  • Express - Estimated delivery Oct 21
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Ladies and gentlemen of the Beef Advisory Board, the results are in.

2nd place in Derby #171 Meat, with 695 votes!

Okay, the focus group results have come back and we’ve been crunching this data for the last month, but we’ve got it. Before I begin, anybody care to venture a guess as to why people aren’t eating as much beef?

“We hired you to find out for us, Gordon.”

I know, I know. And I’ve done just that! So humor me, a little. It helps make the reveal more exciting. Come on, guess.

“Because industrial farming has led to grain-fed beef that’s higher in saturated fat and more frequently-contaminated with E. coli bacteria?”

No. I mean, that’s true, but no. That’s not why. Most people care just enough to not like it, but not enough to do anything about it.

“Because we have to actually put ammonia into burger meat to keep the bacterial contamination to a minimum, so any time you buy a burger from a fast food joint or even most supermarkets you’re actually eating ammonia?”

Again: true, but not what the polls show. Anyone else?

“Because people are starting to realize that a diet rich in red meat leads to a higher incidence of heart disease and colon cancer? And that you should really only be eating about six ounces of red meat a month?”

Ha! This is America! That’s DEFINITELY not what people said! No, the answer is this, ladies and gentlemen: brand confusion.

“Brand confusion?”

Yes! People want meat, but they’re not sure what to get! It’s all too confusing! Burgers, strip steaks, T-bones, sausage, pot roast, flank steak, it’s all too much! That’s why we’ve simplified the old butchers’ guide!

“That…that’s just a picture of a cow.”

“With the word ‘MEAT’ stamped over it in huge, bloody letters.”

That’s right! Forget the subsets, the minutiae, the different cuts of meat. That’s so 1950s! From now on forget “It’s what’s for dinner,” forget “Where’s the beef,” HERE’S your new slogan: “MEAT. I’d eat that.”


Wear this shirt: On your way to the Goodhue County Fairgrounds in Zumbrota, MN!

Don’t wear this shirt: To that PETA protest. They don’t usually go for jokes like that.

This shirt tells the world: “Rooter, tooter, whatever.”

We call this color: beef bourguibrown

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 58.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

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  • 92% second woot
  • 8% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 10% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 19% one year old
  • 67% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 92% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 2% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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An exhaustive guide to cuts of meat by thatrobert
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.