1st place in Derby #207: The Letter O, with 1070 votes!

Boys, come out of your room. I’d like to talk with you in the living room for a second.

Now then, your mother told me all about what you did this afternoon, though I must admit I had some idea when I pulled up to the house and saw your handiwork. I had thought that, after the accident concerning your grandmother’s cat last month, we wouldn’t be having yet another discussion about how we treat other people’s things so soon, but I see that I was wrong.

I know that you know that your great-great-GREAT-grandfather planted that old oak tree. And do you remember why he planted that tree? He did it so that his family, his descendants, you boys would have a shady place to sit and climb. It was his way of showing his love for the members of his family he would never get the chance to meet. That tree, the one that is now hovering over the Piggly Wiggly, was his legacy, his gift to you and to the children you might have someday.

That, of course, was before you both decided to sneak into the basement and take my experimental anti-gravity gun when I specifically told you both not to mess with it. Well, I hope the results of your little test were worth an entire month of grounding. As an added bonus, you’ll be in charge of grandma’s cat this weekend. You boys can flip a coin to see who gets what half.

Wear this shirt: while trying to rip trees out of the ground with your mind.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you already afraid of climbing trees as it is.

This shirt tells the world: “Serenity isn’t just the name of a fictional starship.”

We call this color: Olive This World

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