1st place in Derby #189: Woodland Animals, with 964 votes!

I hear they’re pretty affordable; you can rent them for pretty cheap and it keeps down the wear and tear on your apartment. There are places you can rent out that let you practice at any hour of the night, even. I bet that’d be a lot nicer than having to sort out your conscience when you’re violating your lessor’s agreement with your noise violations.

What? No, no I’m not complaining. I’m totally not that guy. You guys rock! I’m totally hip to the new sound, man. I had a band too, back in the good ol’ days before the job and the wife and kids. Well, not too old. I mean high school was only, let’s see, ten eleven, wait. It’s been 15 years? Holy sh-

Oh man. Can I steal a beer and crash here for a bit?

Wear this shirt: While you’re pounding on your roof with a broom handle to quiet those idiots upstairs down.

Don’t wear this shirt: While you’re hitting snooze for the sixth time this morning because apparently you’re either unaware the walls in this building are paper thin and your stupid Top 40 radio bleeds through into my bedroom or YOU’RE JUST DOING IT ON PURPOSE TO MAKE ME GO INSANE!

This shirt tells the world: “I can pretty much suck the joy out of anything.”

We call this color: I’m a grass? YOU’RE a grass, pal. Some of us have to work in the morning.

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