Ever since the Dawn of Piracy, the noble parrot has captured the imagination of the world.

In fact, it was the Dawn of Piracy herself who owned the first parrot. People would see her going past and say “Wow, Dawn, what’s that colorful winged rat on your shoulder?” Because, before Dawn, pirates only had rats for pets. And Dawn would always reply, “Give me your dubloons or I’ll kill you where you stand”. This continued for many years, which is why Dawn died very rich and no one knew what her bird was actually called.

Finally, after the rise of Britain as a sea power and the decadecimation of piracy, noted historians the Ut brothers discovered a drawing of the bird, and began a well-researched hunt for this legendary flying rat of many colors. Eventually, the pair of brothers were rewarded by having the animal named after them. The “Ralphandstan” became a beloved companion in homes worldwide, until 1935, when a team of scientists took over the Russian Embassy and demanded that all the birds of the world be renamed.

Wear this shirt: when you want a cracker. Or when you want to scare that guy in the mirror. Wait… he’s wearing the same shirt? Oh, it’s beatdown time, now. Get ready for a bruisin’, mirror guy.

Don’t wear this shirt: and assume it makes you a Jimmy Buffett fan. Obviously we’re perfectly happy to sell this shirt to any Jimmy Buffett fans who want it for that reason. We just would personally like to put his face in a blender and then beat the back of his head with an iPod. But, you know, that’s us. Just keep in mind that this shirt can have many meanings.

This shirt tells the world: “I can have many meanings! Squawk!”

We call this color: The Eggs Of A Parrot Are White. That Sounds Like The Title Of A French Movie, But It Isn’t.

Back to top