3rd place in Derby #170 Fall Colors, with 1015 votes!

Look, let’s not act like we both don’t know how this works, okay? I, as the trick-or-treatER, have given you, what I feel, is a pretty simple choice. You, as the trick-or-treatEE, must either comply with my demands for a portion of your delicious candy or face the awful consequence of having your home freshly decorated in egg yolk and toilet paper. Quite honestly, the quality of my costume is irrelevant to this exchange. I could, in fact, be dressed in a sheet with two eye holes cut out of it and the situation would be the same, yes? Of course it would.

But, if you must know, I am “A Tree That Has Lost Its Leaves And Is Populated By Birds Of Traditional Fall Colors In The Autumnal Sun”. There. Has your snotty little question been answered, or do I need to give my idiot brother in the dinosaur outfit behind me the signal to start launching Large Brown Grade A Retribution? All I need from you is a handful of your finest peanut butter cups to make this all go away.

Wear this shirt: while building a little birdhouse in your soul.

Don’t wear this shirt: to a midnight showing of Hitchcock’s The Birds.

This shirt tells the world: “It all goes South from here.”

We call this color: Lemon? Not Canary?

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