Mime, mime, mime—once bitten, twice shy, babe

I swear I’ll never date another mime, and this time I mean it. Sure, it always starts out cool. They’re creative, and fun, and they’re not always blathering on about football or something.

But then it gets old, and fast. It’s like—hey Marcel, the waitress isn’t going to accept the imaginary money you oh-so-convincingly counted out, so I guess I’ll pay for dinner again. Ugh, it just gets stifling, and I end up feeling like I’m the one who’s trapped in a glass box.

Plus, in the… uh, lovemaking department? I always feel like mime guys are just going through the motions, you know what I mean?

Wear this shirt: as a funny conversation-stopper during gabby blind dates.

Don’t wear this shirt: while taking a shortcut across the middle of a bullfighting arena to your seat.

This shirt tells the world: “…”

We call this color: A Rather Loud Red, Ironically

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