Oh dear. This is his “job?”

He told me he was a writer, but I don’t understand what this is all about. This isn’t a career, this is just sitting on the computer thinking of stupid things! Oh well, I told him I’d be happy as long as he had a trade. I just didn’t know looking at webpages all day was a trade. Leave it to my son.

Well, I guess I’m supposed to talk about this shirt. Oh, jeez. What is this? Is that a Bigfoot? Why is it wearing gold jewelry? Why does it have a mohawk? Is that a machine gun? What the hell kind of website is this? Is this…is this a thing? I mean, do kids like these? Maybe it’s just me; this just looks silly. Of course Randy probably bought two of them. I can’t wait ‘til he comes over to take me out for Mother’s Day, he’ll probably be wearing something even dumber than this.

Yeah, that’s right, he hasn’t taken me out for Mother’s Day yet. You know why? He says, “Oh, mom, EVERYONE goes out on Mother’s Day. Let’s make it special and go out the Friday after. We’ll have our pick of the restaurants!” I used to fall for that! Luckily his wife clued me in that he has to wait for his next paycheck to be able to take me out. And I’ll still wind up paying half.

Oh well. He’s a good kid. He’s a silly kid, but he’s a good kid.

Wear this shirt: No! What? Oh, I thought you were telling me to wear it. I wouldn’t wear that thing. I’m a grown woman.

Don’t wear this shirt: Reverse psychology won’t work on me.

This shirt tells the world: If you’re the kind of person who wears shirts like this, you’re telling people “I only aspire to make fun of things on my computer all day.” So I guess it tells the world you’re my son.

We call this color: The thing says asphalt. What do you mean, something clever? Well if you have so many rules about this maybe you should just do it! I didn’t even want to come in here!

Our moms have taken over writing duties for all the Woot sites today. What if your mom had to do your job for a day? Let us know in the comments section.

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