You don’t have to be steeped in Theology to put it all together, you know.

It’ll be no real surprise. It’s obvious if you paid attention in Sunday School. What is every major religion always telling you about? Tea. Piety, Chastity, Generosity, Charity, Unity, it doesn’t matter if you’re Christian, Muslim, Jew, Subgenius or Very Moral Atheist, teas are a very important part of the global cosmology.

Just look at the sublime enchantment on that little fella’s face. Maybe he studied in Chai-na. Maybe Tea-bet. Maybe he gained knowledge by reading the future in his leaves. But there’s no fear in him. Maybe a bit of peppermint and some caffeine, but not a drop of fear.

Wear this shirt: No, no. You said you weren’t interested in wearing shirts. No, no, no, you already said you weren’t interested, so there’s no need for us to tell you why. No, no, no, no, we wouldn’t want to waste your valuable non-shirt-wearing time. You just enjoy yourself out there without any shirts. Don’t even worry about us. Don’t even worry. No no no no no.

Don’t wear this shirt: when the doctor says it’d be best for you to cut down on coffee.

This shirt tells the world: “This is grounds for expulsion!”

We call this color: Parting The Red Tee

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