1st place in Derby #130: Nightmares, with 942 votes!

Did you hear about this thing in Massachusetts? They had a derby of their own, so to speak, and one guy who it seemed like a lot of people didn’t really like ended up winning. Lots of people came out and spoke about how he was a bad choice, how they disagreed with him, how he was a terrible human being, etc. etc. Massachusetts itself couldn’t take sides, just like we don’t take sides in our own derbies.

But the guy won.

So imagine what it’s like to be a Democratic voter in Massachusetts right now. You’ve got a “Derby Winner,” or Senator, you wouldn’t have voted for taking office. It’s really tough to get excited about what he brings to the table. You feel like it’s just more of the same, and that sometimes he doesn’t even pay attention to what the rules were supposed to be. I mean, you’re not one of those howling weirdos calling for him to be banished forever, but at the same time he’s just not really your cup of tea. Now imagine how tough it’ll feel if he goes on to win like, every other election.

It almost feels not fair, right? Well I guess you’re just up a creek, because the guy gets votes. He doesn’t have any sort of Illuminati conspiracy on his side, you can’t for the life of you figure out how he wins, but people respond to what he puts out there, and they vote for him. So you’re forced to endure.

If only there were some sort of parallel we could draw.

But there’s not. Enjoy your shirt!

Wear this shirt: To your concession speech.

Don’t wear this shirt: To your nude photo shoot. It’s a nude photo shoot.

This shirt tells the world: Democracy is flawed.

We call this color: Navy gonna stop.

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