Bigfoot Research Institute
We Exist Because He Exists
The Bigfoot doesn’t have a time card. Bigfoot never had to sit through a four-hour standards compliance training course. Bigfoot doesn’t have to wear an ID card on a lanyard like tagged livestock.
Bigfoot doesn’t have to watch his carbs, or cut out trans-fats, or request his meal be prepared with no MSG. Bigfoot runs all the time, but never, ever, ever on a treadmill. When Bigfoot runs, he goes someplace.
The Bigfoot was never diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. Bigfoot doesn’t have food allergies. Bigfoot never went to a therapist. No one ever put Bigfoot in a special needs class.
No, but Bigfoot is in a special class. The class of truly free beasts, of which there is only one.
Wear this shirt: while thinking and sketching in preparation for the upcoming Derby, about which sshh, we’ve said too much already.
Don’t wear this shirt: in Bigfoot’s direct line of sight, lest he mistake you for a territorial rival, and fight you. Or maybe worse, a prospective mate, and breed you. Unless you’re into that. To each his own, that’s our motto.
This shirt tells the world: “You know what they say about hominids with big feet? They don’t exist!”
We call this color: SasqWhite
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