It’s so hard to talk to people these days. Or to give people a reason to talk to you.

I mean, there are, like, what, six billion of us now? Standing out in that crowd takes some doing. That’s why I like to wear enigmatic shirts that almost demand that passersby break the ice with pointed questions.

“Excuse me, but what the hell is supposed to be going on with that shirt? Is it a bird with worms on the brain? Because he’s, what, hungry or something? Or is his brain turning into a worm? But then why would it be protruding from his skull? And the glasses, what’s that about? Are hipster/nerd birds more hungry for worms than regular birds? Is that the idea? Why?”

From such questions, friendships blossom. Or they would, if anybody ever actually asked them. So far, nobody has. But as soon as someone does, I’ll know I have a friend for life. That’s why I also wear this ASK ME ABOUT MY T-SHIRT button (sold separately).

Wear this shirt: in solidarity with nearsighted, crazed-with-hunger birds everywhere.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re the kind of provincial philistine who can’t accept ambiguity in art. Or eating worms.

This shirt tells the world: “A mind is a delicious thing to slurp out of the soil.”

We call this color: Royal Worm Blue.

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