Contrary to popular belief, better judgment, and the advice of our physician we at Shirt.Woot sometimes read the forums. And yes, we see the small, incredibly vocal minority screaming and howling for “artistic” shirts.

First things first: if you want your argument to have any credibility at all you have to accept that “artistic” is not defined by you. It’s also not defined by the absence of a joke. A well-executed stab at humor is still artistic, just like beautiful music is artistic. What you’re actually arguing for are less jokey-shirts.

And you know what? We agree with you. It’s true! When we saw this design we were all, “Wow, that’s awesome. And there’s not even a Mario Bros. reference hastily-added.”

But for all the hating you guys do, you’re still the minority. Even worse, the vast majority of people swing by our site, buy a cutesy shirt, and don’t even bother to read your diatribe in the forums. So you’re left in your own little echo chamber yelling at each other and the few masochists who hang out there about how this is so terrible that good shirts never get voted up in Derbies and bad shirts always sell out.

Well, here’s your chance to put your money where your keyboard is. Buy this shirt. It’s a great shirt, and we don’t just say that because we’re selling it. No puns, no beady-eyed anime creatures, no video game references, no cliche “geek” humor. Just a simple, artistic expression rendered expertly.

We’ll check in later tonight to see how you’re progressing. Obviously, this being a great shirt, we’ll expect a sellout. Otherwise you guys would be forced to admit that more people tend to go for cutesy joke shirts and that maybe you should just get over yourselves. And we’re pretty sure none of you have any intention of ever doing that.

Wear this shirt: To the weekly Farmers’ Market. Maybe then that cute girl with the beets will finally notice you and say hi.

Don’t wear this shirt: While actually training birds to land upon your head. It’s going to get stained.

This shirt tells the world: “I have a sense of style and taste that is to be envied. Let me tell you all about it.”

We call this color: This could be an album cover for Creme

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