It’s just a cute shirt with a ninja chameleon on it. Don’t think too hard about it.

Like, don’t worry about the possibility that a real ninja chameleon could be on the shirt somewhere, camouflaged, maybe directly over the printed ninja chameleon, or maybe elsewhere – anywhere really! – just lying there waiting. And don’t worry about those rumors you’ve heard that ninja chameleons can, through rigorous training and meditation, learn how to make themselves flat and soft as fabric. That’s probably just a myth, right?

Really, there’s no need to worry about ninja chameleons at all. If you see someone you know on the street, and he lifts his hand, what difference does it make whether he’s waving to you or brushing away a ninja chameleon hanging from his ear? And if you return the gesture and you swear your hand grazes something delicate and reptilian, does that really matter at all?

No, it doesn’t. Because the truth is, if the ninja chameleons wanted you, they’d have you by now. They’re all around us, hidden, watching us, and the only reason we are able to do anything is because they allow it. We are not in control here. They are.

So there’s no need to let them bother you.

Wear this shirt: As a show of respect to our unseen overseers.

Don’t wear this shirt: While exercising. Sweat is insulting in ninja chameleon culture.

This shirt tells the world: “I can acknowledge them. I can enjoy them. I will not fear them.”

We call this color: Black, like each of these tiny ninja chameleons, contorting themselves to be shaped like letters.

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