Build, as if for yourself!
3rd place in Derby #148: Déjà vu, with 786 votes!
That day in September, the lot of people had decided they had had enough of the lot they had been allotted and had been taking as their lot in life. The tzars had been high above in their spires, corrupting the glorious accomplishments of Peter The Great and Nicolas The First by moving from simple vector graphics to more animated fighting games. My own grandfather was dragged from his home and his children to be stuffed into a blue ninja costume and then beaten with a bent silver pipe so that the so-called hero son of the tzar could rescue his bride from a drug dealer to whom she actually owed money, money that she would never repay. And this was not uncommon for the time! And the people, the people decided enough was enough, and rose up!
It was a bloody day, in truth. But when the savagery was over, and they rolled the last screaming Revolution X videogame from the newly christened Glorious Proletariat Arcade, in it’s place was a brand new type of game, a game that demanded you build, rather than take down. A game that was based upon how well you could organize, rather than how impressively you could destroy. And this, this glorious new game that was simple to make but hard to master, this game swept through the people like fires across the currency that the evil aristocrats tried and failed to hide within their stuffed Sonic dolls.
It is just too bad that it gets so hard when it speeds up near the end because otherwise, the slow progression of equality would have been able to continue forever. Say, are those blue jeans you’re wearing? Do you have any extra?
Wear this shirt: or your neighbors will report you… unless you report them first.
Don’t wear this shirt: to that area of Miami where all the old Cuban expatriates live. They’re still a little touchy about this sort of thing.
This shirt tells the world: “Capitalist pig! Your ill-timed long straight block will not stop the People’s Brick Removal Project!”
We call this color: Orange You Glad That You All Voted On This One So We Can Get A Hundred Emails From People Explaining To Us That Communism Is No Laughing Matter Just Like What Happened With The Dinosaurs Shirt Because We’re Sure Looking Forward To Reading All Those Super-Intelligent Deep Philosophical Treatises, Absolutely We Are, Each And Every One
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