When it comes to casting stones, there are rules. More than you might know of, in fact.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Let he who is tallest cast the second stone.
Let he whose sweater is the most comfortable cast the third stone.
Let he who has been bugging everyone to cast a stone cast the fourth stone so that he can just shut up and leave us alone (ahem, Kyle).
Let he whose first name is closest but not over eight characters cast the fifth stone.
Let he whose name is closest but not over three characters cast the fifth stone. (If no one qualifies, bury the sixth stone and never speak of it again.)
Let he with the furthest receded hairline cast the seventh stone.
Let he with the best sense of the actors' needs cast the ninth stone. (Like, in a play. The stone would prefer the leading role, but would also be fine providing comic relief).
Let he whose mustache looks the most un-ironic cast the tenth stone, and any additional stones.
Do not leave until EVERY stone is cast.
Wear this shirt: to fezziks class.
Don't wear this shirt: to algybru class.
This shirt tells the world: "When it comes to physics, the laws are more than stern. Or should I say, Morgenstern."
We call this color: the grass-y knoll... from which I threw my stone.
Back to top